A choice is made

When Yisugei saw [Dei Secen's] daughter, he saw a girl who had light in her face, who had fire in her eyes.  He was pleased with her...

When Yisugei requested his daughter for Temujin, Dei Secen said, "If I gave her away after much asking on your part, you would respect me; if I gave her away without much asking, you would despise me.  But the fate of a girl is not to grow old in the family in which she has been born."

The Secret History of the Mongols,  Igor de Rachewiltz translation.